Thanksgiving Meditations

"And the word became flesh"
why does scripture remind me of zombie movies?

My house is beautiful and someday I will watch it burn

At work yesterday this lady told me
her dog was not a morning person
(insert Quinn's thoughts here)

The world before hand sanitizer
obviously a black plague situation

Never run from loneliness
it's the cornerstone of change

I'm a pain in the ass sometimes-get over it

I realize I manage my life like a bouncer
I'm just trying to keep out the riff raff

Jack in the box is disappointing-especially on holidays

A new house is like a turkey
people are always trying to stuff them

A woman after a workout is powerful

How great Thou art

O Lord my God,
When I in awesome wonder
Consider all
The works Thy Hand hath made,
I see the stars,
I hear the mighty thunder,
Thy pow'r throughout
The universe displayed;

When through the woods
And forest glades I wander
I hear the birds
Sing sweetly in the trees;
When I look down
From lofty mountain grandeur
And hear the brook
And feel the gentle breeze;

Then sings my soul,
My Saviour God, to Thee,
How great Thou art

When Christ shall come,
With shouts of acclamation,
And take me home,
What joy shall fill my heart!
Then I shall bow
In humble adoration
And there proclaim,
"My God, how great Thou art!"

eat less

the gates of heaven are narrow

An open letter to men

You have forgotten your first Love. Did you forget who commands the sun to rise every morning? Or who spoke life and breath into you? Someone how God became an afterthought to money, sex, sports, even popularity. You are motivated by worthless shit. I recently read about a time when being holy was a man’s only fire. You don’t even know what holy means. Nor do you care. Integrity is lost and the fiber of your life is hollow. God has entrusted us with power and you abuse it to your own gain. You take your intelligence and manipulate people with it. You take your looks and manipulate women with it. You squander your gifts and more importantly your precious time. Quit chasing the wind. Pursure excellence of character, not a paycheck.

When did acquiring an education fade into the background? Books are too difficult for you. You settle for what is easy and remain perpetually shallow in your thoughts. Wisdom calls out in the streets and you ignore her. You don’t think, you just do. Examining yourself is too painful. A mirror is too hard to hold, so you walk away and forget who you are. It’s too cumbersome to stop and reflect on your life. Secrets and lies are who you are. You aren’t authentic in your dealings with people. You are fake and show only what you want, you do not show who you are. Exposing yourself is too risky, so you hide and make excuses. The messiness of relationships compromises your own agendas. You don’t love recklessly anymore. It’s too scary for you. People are complex and emotional - do your best to understand them. When did humility become weakness? Some say only a fool would wash another’s feet. When did being a servant become a joke to you? You serve only the illusion of materialism. Fearing failure so badly, that you will never see your inadequacy. Loyalty means nothing to you. You are the slave to the highest bidder, to the prettiest woman. You spend so much time trying not to be thrown out of the lifeboat that you don’t take chances or pursue adventure. Own your life in all of its glory, shame, love, happiness, frustrations, pain and victory.

When did you stop being compassionate? When did you stop loving the poor and underprivileged? These commands are inherent fundamental duties in being a man. Quit ignoring what is plain to see. Your mercy ran dry. Be generous with your money and time - or die on the inside. Why won't you stand up for whats right-no matter what the cost? When did you start getting fatter? How about showing a little respect to your lover. When did she become part of your landscape? Like an object collecting dust. Pursue her soul-see her beauty. Why did you stop buying flowers? Sending cards? Find a new way to touch her. You are creative and skilled-ACT LIKE IT. Why did YOU make romance seem corny? Why did YOU do that? Again you have defiled something sacred. When did you stop opening doors for people? If someone drops something, pick it up for them. Be the fucking ambassador you are supposed to. Give yourself away. GIVE YOURSELF AWAY. Will you risk your reputation, your safety to protect those you love? You will only risk what profits you. Your family cries out for your affection and your touch. You withdraw to your selfishness. How in the world did a hollow box displaying shallow images become more beautiful than a woman’s body? Than a child’s laugh? Quit believing lies-you are responsible to discern them. Your ignorance is the blood on your hands.

Where is your heart? You have lost your passion. You have lost your love. If you don’t correct this course our world will be devastated.

A bad haiku about bad expectations

Timing is everything Haiku
Here's life's shit sandwich:
have your cake and eat nothing
or you get neither

I want the fucking world. I want the best of everything all the time. Anyone who sits in my car and listens to me skip from song to song knows this. That's why I do it. I know there is a song that is perfect for that moment. I'll skip until I find it and I won't settle. If I can't have the best then I'll have nothing. Quite literally I want to have my cake and eat it too. One problem: that isn't really how life works. Lately I am consistently shocked with how much people expect with life. With jobs they will take no paycheck instead of a smaller one. With relationships they will take no relationship over a one where they have to sacrifice. I find my self repeating to people that they should grateful to have a paycheck/relationships. You can't have a dream job and make millions. Sorry. You can't have relationships without some messiness. Sorry. I have watched people walk away from things that are really really special because they have an unrealistic expectation. I found myself in a dialogue with someone that went something like this:

Person: "I want this."
me: "you can't have it."
Person: "but I REALLY want to have this."
me: "I'm sorry. But you can't have it."
Person: "But I don't want to settle."
me: "YOU CAN'T HAVE WHAT YOU WANT."

I watched this person struggle to cope with the fact that they couldn't have what they wanted. They could not have their cake and eat it too. They could have a smaller paycheck or they could have nothing. At first the person thought I was telling them to settle for less than they deserve. I tried to explain there is a time to take what you can get and run with it. This person wanted something legitimate, but life was not allowing it (at the moment).

No one wants to settle. I understand. I want to live the most full, optimal life I can too. But you can't always have what you want. Are you going to be grateful for what you have? Somewhere there is a healthy balance between good expectations and bad ones. I wonder if it's a generational thing where our expectations are so high for everything that life becomes full of disappointments and crushing defeats. I would argue there is no prince charming. There is no job charming. I know this sounds cynical, but if you don't learn to be satisfied be prepared to live a very disappointing life.

500 days

The anger comes not from the love the that remains
but from not being able to give it to you
A serf without a surfboard (respectively)
I cannot taste, sex has no appeal
The heart is healing, but how does a heart heal from such goodness and glory?
What does it turn to? To where does it go?
Such a treasure cannot be replaced

Dreams

I had a dream you were laying on the bed in pain
Jessi watched from across the room. she looked surprised at what happened.
You did not open your eyes, but I grabbed you from behind
I sang in your ear until you fell asleep.
When I woke up I was squeezing the pillow so hard my arms were sore.

I met my match

I thought I met my match, but I learned this:
A match is not a match when betrayed with a kiss
Yet each man kills the thing he loves
Let me be heard
I choked the one I loved to death
now my soul is stirred
Old men sit and children play
my life is aflame when modeled after they

The Ballad of Reading Gaol - Oscar Wilde

"...I never saw a man who looked
With such a wistful eye
Upon that little tent of blue
Which prisoners call the sky,
And at every wandering cloud that trailed
Its raveled fleeces by.

He did not wring his hands, as do
Those witless men who dare
To try to rear the changeling Hope
In the cave of black Despair:
He only looked upon the sun,
And drank the morning air.

He did not wring his hands nor weep,
Nor did he peek or pine,
But he drank the air as though it held
Some healthful anodyne;
With open mouth he drank the sun
As though it had been wine!"

Kennedy (Hyannis port is not real)

Even we, who tell no lies, look and long to stylishly sail
Even we, with no political ties, are blown by the Kennedy gale
Topsided by someone named Sperry
Our lopsided senate victories vary
A family manufactured as royal
is sailing in Arlington soil

There is no "I" in team, but there is a "me"(with some arrangement)

happy birthday to myself

Chic-Fil-A is closed on sundays

Where will the chistians get thier chucken nuggets on sunday?! McDonalds?!?! Are you fucking kidding me?!

or

Praise the Lord the sabbath isn't being defiled by chicken nuggets

Roxanne

You have to put on the red light
Those days are not over
The recession will make us all honest again

?

Some people have an iPhone and want a Google Phone
Some people have an Google phone and want an iPhone

The blood of your brother cries out

The three of us have tongues sharp as knives
But still too deaf to hear audible cries
The ground will swallow and curse our hands
But to bitter hearts - bitterness demands

Things I wish I could forget #127 (Eternal sunshine of the spotless mind)

Her social security number

Tobias Funke Haiku

Cry in the shower
Make it funny for us please
I just can't do it

Baby

If you don't stop crying
I'm going to kiss you on the mouth

Drugs...such and such

She said, “I don’t know much
But drugs…such and such
Are just things that you don’t understand.”
I saw wisdom and grace
Become plagued by distaste
And now the lovers don’t know which way is up
She said, “Son take a look
And don’t be mistook
We tried hard, but love does not live here.”
Don’t say God forbid
We can’t see what we did
Letting hurt and resentment take hold

Photo radar on the I-10

A new reason to quit picking my nose

I felt the Holy Spirit last night

It was terrifying

Float upon the emoticon

Two smileys sit across from eachother for a a romantic evening. A dark ethnic man serves them a cream colored coffee beverage. Grinning, they look into the depth of eachothers beady black eyes.
"Don't look at me like that"
"Like what?"
Looking pleased with herself she reaches under the table and touches his leg
He grips her hand and says, "You have the sexiest right paren I've ever seen."
"I'm not the first smiley you've said that to"
"Maybe, but you are the last."
He won't take his giddy gaze off her the entire night. As he surveys, her eyes quickly transform to a semi-colon, then back again. This is not lost on him. She is the only reason he beams perpetually.

Forever XXI

Needing some oxygen I dart for the exit
I just felt out of place like I was in Scottsdale
Scottsdale – Not a location, but a state of mind
I understand that I could buy an entire mall and still feel ugly
Sitting on the bench, gasping for air
an Indian woman in a crisp shalwar glides by
her flock close behind
Then I missed you
A woman who did not need a pretty dress to feel pretty
Simplicity and resourcefulness; the beauty within
I felt sick...then I grieved.

He was there before me and he will be there after me

My friend described getting a vasectomy as the feeling of
repeatedly getting kicked in the nuts
There are some truths in my life that whenever I think about them
I feel as described above
Maybe a sign of maturity is knowing how to cope with brutal truths of relationships
Not quite there yet
So for now I just try to forget them
But every once in a while
this above truth crashes into my brain
Every once in a while
rock bottom gets up and hits me
The pain can be overwhelming
much like a vasectomy

Young Jeezy is trying to watch his sodium

Fitting into a culture I don't quite belong:
When someone texts me 'LOL', I wish they were really laughing out loud

The lost beatitude

Blessed are the destroyed
for they will be rebuilt

Que quieres para cinco centavos?

A little bit of tenderness
goes a long way

The talking man

The lover racks his brain
for new ways to speak love
But in softly stroking the back of her hand
they are talking
and just don't know it

"Two Paths"

There are many cheap copies of this regurgitated poem
about a person choosing between two paths
It's such bullshit
Do we not always have a foot in each?
We are equally divided at best
In one breath I whisper
"Love lends wings"
and in other I utter
"Man is born into trouble as the sparks fly upward!"

Addiction

The worst part of addiction is not the act itself
but precious time squandered